Humiliation Ritual.

Come, are you people mad?

Hey there. Hosanna here. It’s another awesome day to let you in on my thoughts. Say, Thank you. Yeah, you’re welcome and feel free to mention.

Yesterday, I scrolled the internet and for some weird reason, videos of people looking for love on shows were coming my way. I’ve never been a fan and I don’t think I ever will, because how does that even work?

I dress up gorgeously. Abandon everything I have to do and go on a show to “find love”. They will now give me a balloon, I will hold and stand. They’ll now tell the guy to burst the balloon of the person he finds least attractive. He will now walk to me and burst my balloon with a pin. I’ll now stand and be looking. They’ll now ask him why he had to burst my balloon. He’ll say, “I’m not just feeling it. Her hair. Her dress. Her shoes. They are not it for me.” Then he’ll ask, “what is the cost of your outfit? How much does your hair cost? Your bracelet is from where?”

Come. Are you people mad? How does that even make any sense.

Then it quickly escalates and it becomes, “my wrist watch can buy you and your generation.” “You are wearing avidad instead of adidas.” “Can you even afford me?” “Let me see how much is in your account.” “My wig can buy your whole outfit.” “My bracelet is from Chanel.” Even the ones wearing Dolg and Abagana. Oh, and I almost forgot, “do a 360. Shake what your mama gave you. You are flat. You’re not flat. I like mine big.” Just a chaos of absolute rubbish and a slap to the concept of love.

And if maybe two people didn’t quarrel as much, then “it’s a match.” Their happily ever after begins! Do you know how bizarre I find that? 😂 I can’t even match with someone I’ve been friends with, just like that, and it’s now a total stranger, because he did not burst my balloon. Burst my head!

I will never understand it, I’m sorry. You just willingly give yourself up for banter and belittling. They insult your face, your body, your bank account of course, and as much as you will not want to admit it, it does something to your confidence. When will you learn? When?

I watched one particular show and I was just angry. You came to find love and a serious relationship and out of all the possible questions in the world, “what is the cost of your outfit?” is the first? No normal human intelligent question? Nothing you’re curious about? Nothing nothing? You just want to know the cost of the outfit. I’m really sorry for you. I’m appalled. Taken aback. My flabber is gasted.

I’m not one to encourage you to go on a love show and hold a balloon to find love, but if you insist on embarking on what I’d rather call a humiliation ritual, here are the questions you should actually be asking. And note — these are not limited to love shows. You can apply them in everyday living as you meet people who are genuinely interested in pursuing something real and long term with you.

1. What is your genotype? Before you go into the details of their person, who they are, what they like or believe in, ask their genotype. Early.

2. Do you participate in barbaric traditional festivals?

3. Who do you believe in? God? The moon? The stars? The universe? The firmament? Energy?

4. What is the most important thing for you in a relationship?

5. What’s your perception of family? Children? Extended family?

6. What do you do for a living?

7. Are there sicknesses in your bloodline you want me to know about?

8. How do you resolve conflict?

9. Do you perhaps turn into a ghost and go to the land of the dead when there’s a problem?

10. When you are angry, do you become a different person entirely or do you remain the person I met?

11. Do you believe in going to bed angry?

12. What does a healthy relationship look like to you. Have you ever seen one up close?

13. How do you handle money — yours, mine, ours?

14. What are your deal breakers? And are they actually deal breakers or just things you say?

15. Where do you see yourself in five years and am I somewhere in that picture?

16. What is your relationship with accountability?

17. Do you have people in your life who can tell you the truth and do you actually listen?

18. Do you find me attractive? Genuinely like me? Or do you want to sleep with me?

19. What do you love to do? What tickles you? Inspires you?

20. You can ask their perspective on different subjects… and if they do comment section banter on social media.😔

(Please feel free to add any and every other question you can think of. Please)

These are the questions. Not “what is the cost of your bracelet.” Not “do a 360.” Not “my watch can buy your generation.” Actual questions. Questions that will save you years of confusion, heartbreak, and wasted energy on someone who was never going to be your person anyway.

Love is not a show. It was never supposed to be a performance or a competition or a public audition where someone walks up and bursts your balloon while a camera films your face.

(Long life and prosperity to people who actually found love like that)

Love is built slowly between two people who have actually bothered to know each other.

So before you hold any balloon, ask the right questions. Your heart will thank you for it.

Or don’t you think so?

Love,

Hosanna.