You're tired? Yeah, me too.

It's okay to scream.

I had a mental breakdown yesterday and I legit screamed at my family members. I had a long day and I was so tired coupled with the fact that I had alot of things to still do and a lot of thoughts to still think.

I was in my room. I was sobbing but quietly. I plugged my ears and listened to music and tears rolled down my cheeks. I just wanted to drown in my sorrow, sadness and just be there weeping. I didn't want anyone to ask me what was wrong with me and even when they eventually found me and asked, I screamed. "I said I'm fine. Leave me alone".

The tears were hot and they were choking. I was tired. I felt physical pain all over my body and I couldn't move my legs. It felt like nobody could understand. I was going through the pain, not them, not anyone. So I just wanted to weep and scream and do alot of stuff. I prayed too. I said, "God, you know. I'm tired". Nothing more but tears.

A friend of mine called me last week too. I wouldn't want to mention her name. She said, "will things get any better? I'm just tired". I paused for a while and told her, "Yeah, me too".

So I feel a greater percentage of everyone in the world is tired too. Feels like there's something sapping us of strength, physically, mentally. It's exhausting.

You must be tired too. Those dreams are big. Those goals look unachievable. You're are seeking tirelessly for a source of income. That relationship is not working out. You desperately want something out of your life. You want something to hold on to. Something, anything. You're struggling to find purpose, be yourself and be relevant. Then suddenly, you feel you've not been doing anything worthwhile and you want to just scream like me. I feel you. I don't have everything figured out too. No I don't. It's overwhelming sometimes and I just have to show up everyday like I'm doing now. I'm showing up for you because you give a bit of meaning to my existence and if my showing up will give a meaning to yours, you can bank on me to show up...

I'm sorry that you're tired but I'm confident that you'll find strength to carry on, again.

So it's okay. You're not alone.🫂

My Love is with you. Till I write you again 💜

Hosanna.